Tuesday, February 13, 2007
My family and I have a rabbit. I have had dogs and cats in the past, but never a rabbit. There is something so innocent about holding the small fuzzy thing. Who doesn't love a baby bunny? It makes you think of past holidays- Christmas Eves and Easter Mornings, and the anticipation that accompanies each one. Those cute little ears and those twitching whiskers that seem to say "Just wait. Something exciting is coming." What that exciting thing in my life may be, I have no idea. But the waiting isn't so bad if you're spending your time watching a rabbit. I never would have thought that they have their own little language. There are whole websites to tell you what your rabbit is saying to you. Ears forward means he is alert. Laid out on the floor means he is relaxed and feeling safe. My favorite is called a "binkie", when he jumps and twitches in the air. It is the sign of complete and utter happiness. It makes me think of how I convey my happiness to those around me. Am I expressing my happiness just to be free and run around? What exactly do others see when they see me? Obviously, I can't jump and twitch. Others may be tempted to think me crazier than they already do. I pray that they see a smile on my face and an interest in what they are saying. I hope that my own cares and concerns don't weigh me down so much that others don't see me do my own "binkie."
Thursday, February 8, 2007
I am here. I am amazed at how life turns out sometimes. Who would have thought that I would be on the World Wide Web? I am discovering more and more that I am capable of more than I thought. I am also discovering that I am capable of less than I thought. Strange dichotomy. I am discovering that I love to write and see where my thoughts take me. Right now I'm thinking about enchiladas and Spanish rice. It's lunchtime. This makes me think of California where I grew up. I miss the smell of the ocean and the feel of the breeze on my face. I miss going to the beach, not to bake myself, to contemplate life and feel renewed. To be hypnotized by the sound of the waves and screeching sea gulls. To just be. In other places that I have lived, I have found that place also. Someplace to just be. I have not found that here in the middle of nowhere. There is not much by way of nature around here. Perhaps that is one of the reasons my soul seems to struggle in this place. It takes a little more work to see the beauty of God here. But I am learning not to see it in my physical surroundings. I am learning to see that beauty in people, especially in myself. I can be content with myself wherever I am. I am here.